Embryonic

Tonight was my last night teaching Nia for a while. I was surprised at how anxious, scared, and sad I felt going into class. I love teaching and I love my students. I have not been without Nia and teaching for 4 years and as I stood on the ledge of days without Nia I became aware that I am scared of what will happen to me without Nia. I entered class with no expectations and a simple desire to dance the Joy of Movement. Class was magic. I was able to move my fears and anxiety, emerging at the end of class with a sensation of peace of spirit and excitement for tomorrow. I realized that I am going to be okay.


In Nia we use the five stages to describe where we are with learning. Embryonic grows to creeping grows to crawling grows to standing grows to walking. I am aware that I am still embryonic in my journey to be at ease with how much of getting pregnant is out of my control. What I did not realize until the last week is that I am am embryo surrounded by the most incredible womb of community. You all are there, arms open to hold the space for us. To hug us. To protect us. To create this amazing space for us to manifest our Star Trek Baby.

Last week I took the leap of publishing my blog to a wide audience. The response has been overwhelming. My heart is bursting tonight with love and gratitude.  Thank you to Erin and her class for holding class last Friday, dancing babies and mitosis for me. Thank you to the students who have reached out to me since that class, letting me know how much they are thinking of us. For the gift of a fertility goddess fetish. Thank you everyone who has reached out to us and for the thoughts and prayers. Thank you Beth for holding class on Thursday, whooshing me into the fertility journey. And thank you all for the hugs, the words of support, the reassurance, and for being a part of this journey.

I do not know what tomorrow's appointment will be like. I know that I can go in there open to receive and step-in. I also know that we are not going in there alone. That we are going in there surrounded by a wave of incredible love and support from our friends and family.  And for that, I am deeply grateful.